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The Drama Triangle

Accrording to the founder and originator of the first Drama Triangle we take on a variety of roles throughout our lives in our relationships and how we respond to stress, loss, and tension.

I came across this model and relational theory while taking my NLP online course through Udemy Acedemy. Until recently I have been so immersed in "victim" mentality I truly wasn't even aware there was a diferent way of thinking/perspective I could have.

Since I was born I have experienced one trauma and loss after another, to the point I could no catch up to the speed at which they came. My life bacame a series of bracing myself for the next "big storm". Until I grew so tired and weary of this way of thinking and began to take proactive action to turn my actions, thinking patters, and overall health around.

This is how I came across this model: the triangle drama. Basically there are three roles we normally take in a relationship: The Victim, the Persecutor, and/or the Rescuer. Each role has a benefit that we can get and motives to secure that role in any given time.

The problem? These roles do not lead to healthy and authentic relationships, but ones where there is some sort of a game or dance. This is how codepency is born, and false realities. Many people get stuck their whole lives jumping from one role to the next.

"In the position of Victim you become hyper-vigilant, always anticipating the next bout of suffering. All you see in life are problems. And these problems, whether they are people or circumstances, become your Persecutors, the perpetrators of your misery. The Victim role isn't maintained in a vacuum. Some person or thing must wear the Persecutor label."-David Emerald

The only way out of this dance is to shift perspective and thinking to responsibilty of one's own life and empowerment.

I am currently working through more than one situation in my own personal life where the Victim mentality I have always known and used is a tempting coping mechanism. However, I am trading it in for responsibility, maturity, integrity, and empowerment.

I choose to not live in fear or in dread of my future any longer. I want to be present, not living in fear of the future, or stuck in the past. I choose to believe that everyhting I need to have joy, peace, life, and love is inside of me.

I highly recommend these three books on the topic of the Drama Triangle:

"A Game Free Life" by Stephen B. Karpman M.D.

"How to break free of the Drama Triangle and Victim Consciousness" by Barry K. Weinhold, PhD & Janae B. Weinhold, PhD

"The Power of Ted" by David Emerald

I bless you on your journey of life, abundance, and freedom


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