Its been a bit of a challenge for me lately. I am not where I wanted to be by now. I had goals that have not been met. I am reminded of how I have fallen short this year. Every day.
Are you with me? Can you relate? As much as I have accomplished and could make a list of grace and hard work and perseverance-there is also a list of things not yet seen.
And I feel like I failed. Somehow this outward setback is affecting my inward heart and mind. I am starting to see myself and rate myself based on my outward accomplishments.
Problem? That is not how God sees me nor does he want me to see myself this way. And when I asked him about this he responded with a question to me:
"Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Jesus came from Nazareth, yet it was Nathanael who asked the question.
And then I got a picture of the manger scene. A teenage girl who got pregnant out of wedlock in a barn with her baby. He was and is our King.
Things are not always as they appear to be.
The truth is as long as my heart is full of grace, mercy and love. As much as I am walking with Jesus and soaking in His love and tenderness towards me. As much as I am letting Him do the work of healing and restoring that needs to be done in me.
Doesn't that trump everything? Isn't that the gold?
And the breakthroughs and inner work I have walked through are countless.
So if I can shift my gaze from the tangible substance I so desperately want to see shifted-I must turn my eyes inward and be full of wonder at the change in me.
Just like a chocolate, you aren't going to know what is in the middle unless you look inside.
I might be disappointed, but God isn't. I feel him smiling. Laughing a little. I hear him saying....
"You have no idea what is just around the corner."
We have come so far.......look inside and see with the eyes of love and grace.