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Its when what we thought we had, we owned, or what was a part of us is ripped away.....that is when we are desperate.

We writhe. We agonize.

It is not for reality: for nothing is ours.

Not our life. Not our health.

We have no control.

Only our hearts are ours-unless we give that away.

Our body-but do we squander that as well?

Gratitude helps us to recognize that things and people are not a part of us but a gift.

As soon as we view something as a gift we do not take it for granted, but realize it is a treasure and we can appreciate it for the time it is given to us.

Gratitude itself is a gift.

One can easily start to focus on the things or people that are being "stolen" from them.

Something can be seen as either bad or good. Most situations are neutral.

When I lost my teaching job it was sad, but it was also good.

My 40 hours of being at my new job was a good thing, but I was burning out and not seeing my daughters nearly enough.

Being married to my ex husband for 20 years of life, (though extremely toxic and abusive), helped me to find out who I am and forced me to become fully alive.

Life seems to be a birthing process that we go through. So me choose to not go through the hard mental and emotional work involved.

They end up staying in the womb.

We birth ourselves.

Our dreams, failures, fears, hopes, disappointments, scars, depth, opinions, flaws, and strengths.

What imprint do I want to leave in the world?

Love, honor, fearlessness, compassion, kindness, strength, fire, warrior, inspiring, impossible, heart, emotion, mind, wisdom, insight, authenticity, humility, safety, joy, laughter, peace, boldness, brave, and courageous.

How do I do this?

Keep showing up.

Caring and loving my body, mind, and spirit.

God said to wait. He said He would part the Red Sea for me.

He said hope in His love which never fails and He is faithful.

I need a new song.

He has been extravagant so far.

Survival mode has lasted for such a long time.

I thought the "do the next thing" mode was going to be temporary.

He has given me new dreams and vision.

One He reminded me of recently was when I had all those crumpled tickets and tried turning them in at the airport and the ticketing agent told me she didn't need those and there was already a ticket for me in 1st class. Turns out I even had my own plane.

Hope in His love.

I do long to be chosen. Deeply loved and cherished.

Seen. Heard. Delighted in.

I wrote the above two years ago and love to look at how much progress and growth I have made. The best and hardest thing is to grieve and let go of things close to my heart and precious to me. So many many tears. Seeds die and trees grow. Now I know. I ended my poem with longings. I am currently processing those longings into realities. I am chosen. I am deeply loved and cherished. I am seen, heard, delighted in, and known. These have been true and a reality before I was made. And I was made with love.

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