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Does Integrity really matter?

A strong bridge over water symbolized a strong person of integrity in a relationship.

"Integrity is the quality of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or earnestness of one's actions. Integrity can stand in opposition to hypocrisy." Wikipedia

Have you ever trusted someone only to find out later they lied to you or covered things up so you wouldn't find out? That they really weren't who you thought they were? Or maybe the opposite has been your experience. You trusted someone and they came through when you needed them the most. They were authentic, honest, and pure. Most likely you've experienced both types of people. I do mean types of people for I see this as a character flaw.

Integrity is so much like a bridge. The relationship, your wellbeing, mental health, and safety hinge on that bridge being and doing what it was made to do: be strong and durable to hold you as you cross it. We were made to be this for one another. Being and doing exactly what we said. Unfortunately, sometimes people lie. They turn out to be someone very different than what they originally portrayed. Depending on how early on this is revealed, the damage can be devastating.

My life as a Pastor's wife was that kind of lie. I didn't want people to know about how destructive my marriage was or our home life. I was honest about the suffering I was going through, but not honest about the hell I was living in my marriage. Because I lied about this to myself and others, when the truth did come out it was devastating to many people.

Since then I personally have experienced more than once people lying consistently leaving a wake of destruction and broken bridges in their path. When confronted, the blame is placed on the person confronting. This person is said to be "double minded", insinuating instability in the mind.

Being lied to is a very painful experience when a lot is at stake. Integrity seems to be a word not used or valued much anymore. Is it something you would like to live out and value? Grow in? Make it a personal goal.

Dr. Henry Cloud has a book out called "Integrity", I highly recommend it. The healthiest kind of life keeps nothing in dark closets and spaces. Invite God's Spirit to come bring light and healing to those places. Be a person that people can trust. That's the kind of person I want to be.


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